Best Fanfic Ever!
by Alayna36
Summary: ....Not really. A parody of an Itachi/OC fanfiction as well as SasuSaku fanfiction. Not to be taken seriously. Erin Haruno meets an emotionally scarred Akatsuki member and falls for him, what chaos can this cause? A cliche and overdone love triangle! Yay


_Disclaimer: If I owned this, why would I call it Fanfiction?_

**A/N: This is a **_**parody. **_**It's made because I'm bored and I like mocking things. If I mock something that relates to anyone's writing I apologize—this is just for fun. Itachi spoilers. If you don't know why he killed his clan, don't read it. **

It was a beautiful day in Konoha. Why? Because the weather _always _needs to be some indicator of how the story is going to day. In this case, the beautiful day indicates that this will be a cheesy romance with no real relevance to anything and can only be called Fanfiction because the characters happen to be the same as in a particular fandom…. Or, rather, they have the same names as them. For example, I could have a character named 'Sasuke' and have him be a decent and likable person. And I could get away with it too. Gotta love Fanfiction.

The story begins with a young, 17 year old ANBU member named Erin Haruno, also known as Sakura's older sister. Having graduated the Academy at the age of 7 and achieving Chuunin rank at the age of 10, she was madly skilled. She had the typical pink hair of a Haruno that she kept long, in contrast to her personality which was very tomboyish. She had no real faults, of course, because she is an OC and therefore perfect.

Her and Sakura's parents were a mystery to the both of them. Erin had taken care of Sakura for as long as they could remember, even though she was only a few years older than Sakura. Of course, the fact that this is mentioned indicates that there is a mystery about their heritage that will be revealed later in the story and will make about as much sense as a ninja in an orange jumpsuit.

Erin was currently going back to Konoha from a solo, A-rank mission to do some cheesy and goody-goody service to a poor town, like saving it from a rockslide or defeating some clichéd villain. But I won't torture you poor readers by elaborating on it.

As she was jumping through the trees, she noticed that she was being followed. Oh noes. But being the incredibly bitchy and stupid OC that she is, instead of setting a trap or seeing who it is, she boldly stands her ground and waits for them to catch up. After all, she's the main character of this fanfic, there's no way she can die. She waited as the unknown mystery pursuer came forward. She had no idea that it was Itachi Uchiha that was following her.

(A/N: OH JUST KILL HER, ITACHI, I'M ALREADY SICK OF WRITING HER! *ahem* Sorry.)

But, sadly, he did not kill her. Because as soon as he laid eyes on her long pink hair and her enchanting green eyes, he knew that he could never stand to hurt her. After a long debate with himself about why he absolutely can _not _be in love with her, he gives up and lets the author have her way with him.

(A/N: Sorry, Itachi….)

Erin saw only the Akatsuki cloak before she decided what she thought of him. "Itachi Uchiha…. Akatsuki!" She screamed before charging at him. "What are you doing here?!" Itachi dodged easily and did not fight back. After all, he was in love! Because that's logic!

"Fight back! Fight back, you coward!" Erin yelled. The fact that she was now quoting Harry Potter made Itachi love her even more. Because, you know, Itachi's a major HP fan.

(A/N: Because he's JUST LIKE SNAPE!)

At that point, Erin, in her rage, fell out of the tree she was standing on. Even though, you know, she's an ANBU. And she graduated ninja school at the age of 7. She fell out of a tree.

Itachi, being the lovesick and OOC character he is, caught her. Before she could say a word in protest, he kissed her. She then had a long argument with herself about how this is wrong, he's evil, blah blah blah. But she didn't resist because, well, it's Fanfiction. Don't question it.

After the kiss ended, Erin was too shocked for words. Itachi set her down gently and asked "Are you all right?" She nodded dumbly.

"But.. but you're in Akatsuki!" She couldn't understand why he had saved her, so she had settled on pointing out the obvious instead.

"Shhh…. Please…." Itachi begged. "Look past the Akatsuki cloak and look into my heart. I love you." Because Itachi is really the touchy-feely type, isn't he?

"I-I…" Erin was at a loss for words. _How could the plot of a Fanfiction possibly suck so much… _she thought. But she decided to just go with it. After all, Itachi was quite attractive and it's not just the author's fangirlyness that made her think so. Of course not.

She smiled up at him and said "I love you too." Itachi smiled back warmly and kissed her again.

"I will always protect you… I won't ever let anything happen to you," he told her. "I'll take care of you forever."

"But… But I have to go back to Konoha!" Erin broke down sobbing again.

"Don't worry, don't worry, my love. I'll go back to Konoha with you. Even though I killed my clan, they're probably over that by now, right? And even though I'm part of the most dangerous organizations in the world… they won't care if I leave them. " Itachi said, calming her down.

"You're right. Let's go back to Konoha." She nodded, looking happily at Itachi. "So… Why did you kill your clan?" She asked.

"It was my brother…" He started, but was unable to go on from there.

"Please, you can tell me!"

"Sasuke…" he started, his anger building up inside. "wouldn't share the waffle crisps with me. After all I did for him! He wouldn't share them!" Itachi started crying at this point, the emotional strain of reliving those torturous mornings without waffle crisps being too much for him. "I wanted to make him suffer the way I'd suffered. Without family, there was no one to buy him any more waffle crisps!"

"It's okay, Itachi, I understand." She nodded and hugged him.

By this time, they had reached the gates of Konoha. Itachi had left his Akatsuki cloak behind, bloodying it and making it look like he had died. Because the Akatsuki was sure to be fooled by a little ketchup and water poured over a cloak.

They were walking toward the gate when Sakura noticed them and started walking towards Erin to greet her. Erin ran to meet her. "Sakura! I've missed you, how have you been?" Being the perfect older sister that Erin was…

Erin was soon distracted, however, for she had noticed that not far behind Sakura was none other than Uchiha Sasuke—the boy who wanted to kill the man she loved.

**A/N: So… yep. I'll update soon, if anyone actually is reading this, I promise the next chapters won't fail as much—first chapters I write always fail, I'm still getting into it. Hope you enjoyed that.**


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